Mindful “responding” rather than “reacting” to family is easier said than done.
Seeing family members can tend to bring up old stories or previous ways of being. Try to reframe the triggers from these previous ways of being, into — invitations. Invitations can be accepted and with a mindful approach, be responded to – rather than ‘reacting’ without thought.
Remember also .. that you can decide to decline an ‘invitation’ by not responding or reacting at all! Try letting the invitation go unanswered, or ‘responding’ by declining the offer to engaged in conflict.
Engaging in mindfulness strategies that focus attention on any of the five senses, can serve to ground you in the moment – thus allowing that mindful response to invitations. Try focusing on the taste and texture of food, the nuances in the Christmas melodies that you have never noticed before, gazing into the lights of the tree, the smell of baking or feeling yourself relax into the cushions of your chair.
Holiday loneliness.
Loneliness, feelings of being separate, or experiences of isolation are common during the holiday season.
Our minds tend to trick us during this time of year. It seems everyone else is having such a wonderful time with friends and family, and that we alone are feeling this isolation. This is not the case, even those with apparent abundance can experience feelings of isolation within the abundance of family.
Some comfort may be found in becoming aware that this experience is shared by many thousands of people, and that you are not alone. Some philosophies, such as Buddhism, distinguish between ‘pain’ and ‘suffering’. Stating that to experience ‘pain’ is a natural part of the human condition. That it is the experience of ‘suffering’ in response to that pain, that presents us with some choice.
The pain of loneliness, isolation, or feeling separate may be unavoidable. There may be some room for choice as to whether you experience ‘suffering’ in response to this emotional pain. Seeing suffering as having choice within it, allows for other ways of experiencing pain. Perhaps your emotional pain becomes an inspiration to reach out and connect with persons you may not have otherwise had the courage to approach. Perhaps your pain becomes the catalyst for change in your life, for perhaps, setting intentions to embrace choices that increase your connections with the people around you.
To learn about the Five Senses mindfulness exercise click the link below. This valuable complementary self-help mental health information is provided FREE of charge.
